What Really Grinds My Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?  It's modern art.

Not only is it mostly garbage.  Not only don't I understand it.  But most of it doesn't even need any training in the arts at all!  All you need is a weird imagination and BINGO!  You're an artist.

For example:

What the hell is that supposed to be?  It's just a swirl of colours.  It doesn't require art school, or any real talent for that matter.  All you need is a brush, a canvas, paint, and a vivid imagination.  Maybe not even a vivid imagination.  I've seen similar work produced by chimps!  No fooling!  Actual chimpanzees.

Not all that much different, is it?  In fairness to the chimp, he isn't finished with his painting so we can't give a fair comparison yet.

Take a look at this one and tell me what this is a picture of.  Yes, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition.  Sorry about that.

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If you couldn't tell, I don't blame you.  It was painted in 1912 in Paris (that's somewhere in France) by some French dude named Marcel Duchamp.  That's Dew-shaam, not Dew-champ, btw.  He called it "Nude Descending A Staircase".  WTF?!  When I read the title, if I squinted my eyes a bit I could sort of see a figure - sort of.  But before I read the title I had no idea what the hell I was looking at.  Duchamp said he painted people as he saw them.  Well if this is how he saw people either he needed glasses desperately, or he was an etheric wacko.  Probably both.

As to sculpture, I wrote about this a few years ago.  This "sculpture" is at the Los Angeles County Museum Of Art.  Personally, I prefer the LA Natural History Museum.  It has some really cool dinosaur skeletons there.  Anyway, check this out.

I know the picture is a little blurry, but if all you see is a rock sitting on two concrete walls, you're not mistaken.  The "artist" has been hailed as a genius.  A genius?!  It's a freaking rock, for chrissakes!  He didn't even put a chisel to it once!  He found it out in the Mojave Desert and had it hauled 105 miles to LA and propped up on those concrete things and called it a sculpture.  He even got paid for it!  I forget how much but it was a five figure payment.  I mean it's just a rock!  WTF!  How is that genius?  I'll tell you how he's a genius.  He found a huge rock, dragged it to LA, and got a bunch of idiots to pay him five figures for it.  I guess he is a genius after all - at finding suckers.  Barnum was right.  There is one born every minute.

I happen to agree with our Fuhrer on art in that it should look like what it's supposed to be.   It should also enrich our lives.  How does the above work enrich anything? 

These are some of Hitler's works, and he did a damn fine job if you ask me.

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You may recognize this castle from various movies and TV shows.

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The Jewish heads of two different art schools told Hitler he had no talent.  It doesn't look like that to me.  I say he was damn talented.  Now this is what I call art!

That's what grinds my gears this week!

Dan 88!


  1. well at lest you did not
    mention that fruit cake who squirts paint, yes paint, into his butt and squirts it out upon to a canvas calling that art! talk about a disgrace to the race!

    1. His butt?! Really?! How revolting! I mean that's not just bad art, that's just plain disgusting - and probably unhealthy. Unless he has his paint made special with all natural ingredients or something, paint is a toxic substance.

      Dan 88!

  2. How about that negro artist that is, wearing white women as "status and power!"

    1. Never heard of that one, but it doesn't surprise me. It is a well known fact that Black men consider White women - especially blondes - to be a kind of trophy.

      Dan 88!


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