Beautiful San Bernardino, California

I just moved to San Bernardino!   Now this is an area that knows how to live! 
Beautiful sunny days and  warm balmy evenings.  What a place! It is 
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:

Really heating up.   Got to 100 today. Not a problem.  I  live in an 
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see 
the sun everyday like this.  I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.  Lots of cactus and 
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another 
scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.  How do people get used 
to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though.  But getting used to 
the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool.  (Got 2nd degree burns over 60% of my body).
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.  I learned my lesson 
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed my cat as she sneaked into the car when I left this morning.  By 
the time I got to work the hot car at noon, the cat had died and swollen up to the 
size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now 
smells like Kibbles and shits.  I learned my lesson though. No more pets 
in this heat.  Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:

The wind sucks.  It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer! And it's hot as hell.
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $325,000 house
and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $500 
and gets the temperature down to 85.  I hate this stupid place.

Aug 8th:

If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Damn heat.  By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling 
over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was 
on fire.  My skin melted to the seat.  I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair 
on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried 
ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording...
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot to do shit for too many damn months and the weatherman 
says it might really warm up next week.  Doesn't it ever rain in this damn 
place? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just 
dry up and blow over.  Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug 13th:

Welcome to HELL!  Temperature got to 119 today.  The cactus are dead.  I
forgot to crack the window and heat blew the damn windshield out of the 
car.  The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"  My 
brother had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.

Freaking  San Bernardino!!  What kind of a sick, demented idiot would want to live 


Comrades,  I don't know who wrote this little bit of wit.  It may be humerous, but it's right on the money. Never mind the race problem (and it's a big one at that), the weather here is like Hell itself in the summer.  But as they say, "It may be hot, but it's a dry heat!"  Yeah it's dry alright.  Without watering, roses won't last a week in August, and we can expect this kind of weather until mid-October.  Then it might drop down to an average of 85 - 90 degrees.  When does it cool off?  It cools off by Thanksgiving - if we're lucky.  That's life in the desert for you.  It may LOOK beautiful but if you're smart you'll admire the desert from a distance - A VERY LONG DISTANCE!  BTW it's even worse over in Arizona.

Dan 88!