That Old Demon Rum

God once complained that the two busiest days for prayer for him are the day after New Year's and the day after St. Patrick's Day.

God said, "Year in and year out it always the same damn prayer:  Oh God just get me through this and I swear I'll never drink again!  But next year they say the same things again.  People never change."

Alcohol!  The cause - and solution - to all of life's problems! - Homer Simpson.

Red Bull and Vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got a 12 pack.

Beautiful women on TV make us guys buy beer.  Ugly women at home make us drink beer.

One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.