Our Wonderful Healthcare System

: If Republican's have "Cadallic" health plans, what plans to Democrats have? A: "Yugo" health plans...you go to the doctor, you pay.....you go to the hospital, you pay! 

Q: What does HMO stand for? A1: Hand Money Over! A2: How Many Obstacles! A3: Healthy Members Only! A4: Horrible Medical Organization! A5: Healthy Men Only 

Q: Other than health care what other promises has Trump made to the American People? A: Balancing the budget, reining in the banks and putting a unicorn in every backyard! 

Q: What do Donald Trump & Tiger Woods have in common? A: They both prefer younger women! 

Q: How do you know your doctor is not a fan of Trump's Health Care Plan? A: He/she has remodeled the waiting room with death paneling. 

Q: What is the difference between an HMO and a car battery? A: The battery has a positive side! 

Q: What's the difference between an HMO physican and a seagull? A: A seagull can still make a significant deposit on a Mercedes. 

Q: Why is Congress contacting Tiger Woods about Health care solutions? A: They want to know how to screw everybody except your own family members! 

Q: Why shouldn't health care be run like the United States Postal Service? A: Because babies won't be born unless they have the right amount of postage! 

Q: How is the tabacco industry solving the health care crisis? A: By allowing Marlboro Miles to be redeemed for health care coverage! 

Q: If the health care reform bill is named after the late Ted Kennedy who should the defense bill be named after? A: Rush Limbaugh because it contains a lot of fat! 

Q: How is Donald Trump going to get Democrats to cross party lines and support health care reform? A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants! 

Q: What should you do if your health plan only covers generic prescriptions and generics make you feel sick? A: Poke yourself in the eye! 

Q. Under the Republican health bill, do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification? A. No. Only those you need. 

Q: How would Hilary Clinton have reduced teen pregnancies and prevent STDs if she was elected? A: By getting Bill to wear condoms! 

Q: Why is it ironic that Sarah Palin is against "death panels" for old people? A: Because she smothered the life out of the McCain presidential campaign! 

Q: Will health care be different under Trump's new reforms? A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then! 

Q: Why is Healthcare reform so important to the enigmatic Barack Obama? A: His pregnant mom was turned away from many hospitals and was forced to give birth in a manger! 

Q: Why is it pointless for Donald Trump to hold Senior Citizens Q & A sessions on the internet? A: Because microwave ovens don't have internet connections! 

Q: Under Obama's health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions? A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment!