T'was The Night Before Christmas, as told by Al Bundy...Don't let the kids read this!
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
No food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung round Dad's neck like a tie,
Along with a note that said, "Presents or die!"
This year Dad had money in the bank.
But the bank closed up early. Now Dad's in the tank.
All of a sudden Santa appeared,
With a sneer on his face and booze in his beard.
"Santa," I said, as he laughed merrily.
"You do so much for others, do something for me."
"Bundy," he said, "You only sell shoes.
Your son is a sneak thief, your daughter's a flooze."
"Ho-Ho!" Santa said. "Shall I mention your wife?
Her hair's like an A-Bomb, her nail's like a knife!"
As he turned toward the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
He mooned me two times, and stuck out his tongue.
And I heard him exclaim as he broke wind with glee,
"You're Married: With Children. You'll never be free!"
Well, that's hardly in the Christmas spirit, but what the heck. It's all in fun. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!