T'was The Night Before Christmas - Married: With Children Style!

T'was The Night Before Christmas, as told by Al Bundy...Don't let the kids read this!

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
No food was a stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung round Dad's neck like a tie,
Along with a note that said, "Presents or die!"

This year Dad had money in the bank.
But the bank closed up early.  Now Dad's in the tank.

All of a sudden Santa appeared,
With a sneer on his face and booze in his beard.

"Santa," I said, as he laughed merrily.
"You do so much for others, do something for me."

"Bundy," he said, "You only sell shoes.
Your son is a sneak thief, your daughter's a flooze."

"Ho-Ho!" Santa said.  "Shall I mention your wife?
Her hair's like an A-Bomb, her nail's like a knife!"

As he turned toward the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
He mooned me two times, and stuck out his tongue.

And I heard him exclaim as he broke wind with glee,
"You're Married:  With Children.  You'll never be free!"

Well, that's hardly in the Christmas spirit, but what the heck.  It's all in fun.  MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Dan  88!