A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.
The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”
He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.
The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”
The father agrees, “All right.”
The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”
A Black man and an American Indian were standing around one November afternoon discussing how badly the White man has treated their peoples.
The Indian said, "The White man can here and stole our land!"
"Oh yeah," said the Black man. "Well Whitey came to our land and stole us!"
"That's rough," answered the Indian.
Blackie said, "At least your people were invited to the first Thanksgiving."
"I wonder why your people weren't invited?" asked the Indian.
A little annoyed, the Black man said, "Fool, why would they invite us to dinner when we were doing the cooking?!"