Sunday, October 9, 2016

Politics Defined

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.



COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.




FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.


NAZISM:  You have two cows.  The state lets you keep the cows, sell the milk at a fair price, then gasses all the Jews.



MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and shoots you.




BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.




CAPITALISM: You have two cows. A rich guy tells you they're worthless and buys them for next to nothing.




PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.


REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:  The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.  After the election they give you one cow, and give the other to the queen as royal taxes, then everyone sits down and has tea and cucumber sandwiches.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.

UTOPIA:  Everyone has two cows and there's no such thing as politicians, kings/queens, lawyers, taxes, or bankers.

Dan 88!

No comments:

Post a Comment