Sunday, September 11, 2016

20 Insulting Trump Jokes

1. “It’s like an Internet comment troll ran for president.”—Jon Stewart

2. "The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump." —Jay Leno

3. “Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman

4. “Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.”—Albert Brooks

5. “'Yeah! OK! That sounds good!' So now the obvious question is, will he ever not win? Yes, Trump is unstoppable. He's like Godzilla with less foreign policy experience." –Stephen Colbert

6. “Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”—Joe Biden

7. "Donald Trump has come out in favor of shutting down Planned Parenthood. However, experts say, if he really wants Planned Parenthood to go under he should turn it into a Trump property."–Conan O"Brien

8. “Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!”―David Letterman

9. “Maybe he should ease into this ... by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.”―Jimmy Kimmel

10. "Donald Trump is the weak man's vision of a strong man."—Charles Cooke

11. “This guy has an ego. When Trump bangs a supermodel, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.”–Seth McFarlane

12. “Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.”―Bill Maher

13. “He was even forced into the ultimate act of degradation— starring in his own reality show. And soon the top-rated TV show in the nation starred a total asshole torturing people who were stupid enough to work with him.”–Seth McFarlane

14. “But folks, on a serious point, Trump said he likes ‘people who don’t get captured. What a terrible thing to say about my friend and a genuine war hero, John McCain. So tonight I call on Donald Trump to be a man of his word – and release Chris Christie right now.”—Joe Biden

15. “Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

16. “Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.”―Craig Ferguson

17. “Trump says— he says he's gonna run for president in 2012. But if his plan for America is to fire everyone, he's about two years too late.”–Seth McFarlane

18. “Americans have been mishearing The Donald: what he actually said is that he will make America grate again, after which many of them will migrate again.”―Michael R. Burch

19. “I say that knowing every time his name is said out loud, he has a shattering orgasm... Donald Trump is America’s back mole. It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it."–John Oliver

20. "Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won't do."–Mitt Romney

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