1. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
2. America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
3. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
4. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
5. Brotherly love is like communism; everyone gets a share, but it only works in theory.
6. Don't steal. That's the government's job.
7. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
8. A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.
9. Said the corporate CEO: Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.
10. Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being.